how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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