dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
