she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
