The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
