so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
