Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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