I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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