she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
