wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
