Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
