Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
