A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
A+ Viking dick
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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