Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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