You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
