Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(361): View more from Texas

Boobs. All I remember is boobs.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.

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(850): View more from Florida

i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?

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(256): View more from Alabama

I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...

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(224): View more from Illinois

I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable

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