We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize