Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
