Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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