im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
