thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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