My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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