there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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