he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
