i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
