So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
