omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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