My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
