Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
