what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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