I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
