it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
