Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
