Got a toothbrush?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
