So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
