just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize