I need help removing her.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
