he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
