U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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