We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
