fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
