Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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