Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
