I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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