I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
