So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize