somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I fill condoms, not promises.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
