nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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