Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
