Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
