Don't make out with my wife yet
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
