Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
