He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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