just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
