I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
