too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
PANTIES FOUND
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
