Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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