Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How external is "for external use only"?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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