How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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