is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
