My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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