return my video game
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
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