Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
