Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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